Marnie Millward

One of the most enthusiastic members of the local Circle, she is known for her fluffy knitted jumpers, firm beliefs in the paranormal, and for her bakery (with which she rigorously enters in local fairs – often to the dismay of anyone with taste buds).

Miss Millward claims to have been ‘psychically aware from a tender age’, having seen her deceased Grandfather’s face in a baked potato skin when she was five and being a firm believer ever since. She claims to have seven resident ‘spirits’ currently in her home, including two boys that haunt her downstairs bathroom and a World War two soldier that visits her pantry every day.

These alleged hauntings are the subject of debate among Circle members, all of which Miss Millward seems to find upsetting and bewildering. When one member suggested that the disappearance of corned beef from the pantry was in fact caused by her ‘little ratty dog’ rather than a starving soldier, her resulting ‘outburst’ led to security removing the Circle members from the River Cafe in the Shopping Centre. Since this time, the majority of meetings have been held in one or other of the members homes.

Miss Millward lives alone with her beloved dog Marlon who is predeceased by many other well loved pets, all of which roam around her back garden (she regularly finds her plants dug up but resists suggestions from certain Circle members that this is due to either cats or moles). Miss Millward is a (usually) sweetly docile and well known character, known around the town, most notably after her arrest for assault at a local fair. After a rival entrant in the bakery contest pipped Miss Millward to the post with a Victoria Sponge, she assaulted one of the judges with a slice of carrot cake and had to be restrained. She resisted arrest, aided by a pair of knitting needles and a sultana scone. The arresting officer had to take six weeks sick leave due to stress after the incident.

Miss Millward was well behaved in custody, sobbing and stuffing used tissues up her fluffy sleeves until bailed out by an unknown benefactor. The case was dismissed after the witnesses for the prosecution failed to show up in court. (they were later found to have been misdirected to a courthouse eighty miles away by person or persons unknown). Miss Millward puts this down to her warm spiritual field, her great Aunt Irene who watches over her, her collection of eighty seven crystals, and the fact her house was at right angles to Jupiter during the first month of it’s construction.

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